Bad Habit
by These Lonely Skies
Summary: She isn't back for good. Derek knows that. He knew the moment she left for college. But he'll still see her every time she comes home. He can't help it. DerekxOC.


**This idea would just not leave me alone ever since I finally watched season 5 of Teen Wolf and my brain started making up this story about what Derek was doing in the meantime, involving an old flame from the past. I've obviously taken some minor liberties where timeline and plot are concerned but hey, it's called fanfiction for a reason right? Hope you enjoy!**

*.*.*

Nadine's hair was pink.

She'd been gone for ten months. Derek had heard her car rattling down the road past his house, on the way to town no doubt. On the way to her dad's house, no doubt. So he'd ran - _ran_ after her, like a puppy - and hid along the tree line while she got out and lugged an overstuffed bag up to the front step.

Her hair was fucking _pink._

It used to be brown. Dark brown, and long. So long. He used to bury his hands in it when they were making out. And when they were fucking. And just when she was lying next to him. Preferably naked.

But he was getting distracted now.

She looked different. Under the hair. Older. A little more sure of herself. She hadn't walked like that before she went to college. It made her look taller, the way she held herself. She'd grown up and away from this shithole.

And he was so fucking jealous of her for that.

Her dad came out on the porch and she hugged him. She looked so bright next to him, like some strange exotic bird who'd flown in to perch in the wrong place.

He stepped in the wrong place and a branch broke under his foot. He swore under his breath and ducked behind a tree.

Nadine looked around, alert. Her human eyes were too weak to spot him in the shadows but he was pretty sure she knew he was there. Like always, he was there.

"What're you looking at, honey?" her dad asked, pausing by the door with her luggage.

"Nothing," she said, eyes still scanning a moment before she turned back. "Just thought I heard something."

Derek leaned back against the tree with a sigh, closing his eyes. He was so fucked.

*.*.*

Her window was open. He was standing here, in the cold, in the dark, and she was back, and her window was open.

She used to leave it open for him. Did she leave it open for him now? Or was it just habit?

Ten months.

He started scaling the wall.

She was waiting for him at the top, perched on her bed with a book. Her feet were covered in the ugliest, fluffiest socks he'd ever seen and she was wearing…

She was wearing…

Fuck, was that his shirt?

"Derek," she said, smiling at him even though he could hear her heart beating a little faster. She was nervous.

"You're wearing my shirt," he blurted out.

She shifted and his eyes flickered out of habit to where the hem rode up and exposed the skin of her thighs.

"You never minded before."

"Before you left and ignored me for a year?"

Her face fell a little. "That's unfair."

"You started it."

Nadine gazed at him. "You look good, Derek."

"Your hair is pink."

She blinked. "No shit. Really?"

He leaned against her desk. "Why are you back?"

"Why are you here?" she challenged, leaning forward and offering a distracting view of her underwear as the shirt rode up again.

"Why is your hair pink?"

She laughed quietly. "I knew you'd hate it."

"You wanted to provoke me?"

"I wanted to get your attention." She ran her hand through it, smiling ruefully. "Besides, I didn't do it just for you. That's just an added bonus. Go on. Tell me what you think." She shook her locks out for dramatic effect.

"It's bright," he said dubiously.

Nadine laughed again. "Why are you here, Derek?"

"Your window was open."

"That's not an answer."

"You never gave me an answer then, why should I give you one now?"

She sighed. "Dee… I'm not… can we not do that whole fight again right now?"

"You're the one asking why I'm here. Maybe I'm here for answers."

"Maybe you are," she agreed.

Their eyes clashed, and then he was moving and pulled her up so they could crash into an embrace. It wasn't soft or pretty or anything like reunions probably should be but it had been _ten months_ and he wanted to taste her again.

"Derek," she mumbled against his mouth as he devoured her, "Is my dad asleep yet?"

"He was when I climbed up." Derek moved to her neck, scenting, licking, kissing, nipping with carefully human teeth.

"Is he asleep n-now?" she stammered, tilting her head back to give him better access.

Derek lifted his head up for a moment and listened for the other occupant of the house.

"Still good," he said, returning to tasting her skin.

"Thank fuck," she muttered, pulling his head up to kiss him again.

She was different but the same. Still soft; soft skin, soft mouth, soft moans that she tried to stifle so that her dad wouldn't wake up. That was all the same. But there was a new hardness to her as well, in the muscles of her thighs and the way she wasn't afraid to take over when he hesitated. She was confident.

It was sexy as hell. He growled and held her tighter, hands clutching desperately.

"God, I missed you," she gasped. "So much. Fuck, so much…"

He shook his head. "Nope. Not doing that now. Stop talking."

"Good idea," she agreed, surging against him again.

They fucked in the bed they used to make love in and afterward they lay naked and sweaty, entangled in each other.

"I didn't want to leave," she said quietly, breaking the silence. "It was something I had to do. I know you don't believe me, or understand why, but I had to leave Beacon Hills. And I'm so, so sorry that meant leaving you."

Derek swallowed and didn't say anything. He didn't know what to say. They'd had this discussion before.

Nadine sighed and rolled over, leaving him cold. Before he could think better, he turned and threw an arm around her, pulling her flush against him again so he could tuck his chin over her shoulder. Her scent was calm and familiar and she twisted slightly to kiss his jaw as best she could.

Fuck, he wished she'd never left.

*.*.*

She was gone two weeks later, back to her college hundreds of miles away so she could find a job to support herself through it.

"I'll call you," she promised, a sad smiled tugging at her mouth. "I love you."

He nodded and took her face in his hands, kissing her carefully and slowly, like she was porcelain. She melted between him and the side of her car, clutching at his hips to steady herself.

Derek drew back, resting his forehead against hers and just breathing her in.

"I have to go," she whispered after a minute.

He nodded, clearing his throat and stepping back. "Okay. Go."

"I'm coming back, Derek," she said. "You know that, right? This isn't the last time we'll see each other. At least we get a proper goodbye this time."

He met her pleading gaze and forced himself to smile. "I know."

She got in her car and drove away. Derek watched her go.

She might be coming back, but he knew she wouldn't stay.

*.*.*

She looked good in black.

Well, not good. Like not good in a healthy way. Her face was drawn and her mouth was a tight line. She hunched in on herself like a little sparrow sheltering from a storm. She was sad and beautiful and he couldn't stand over here pretending he wasn't there anymore so he approached and knelt down beside her chair, touching her knee gently.

She started, and then when her eyes focused on him she threw her arms around him.

"Oh, thank God," she whispered, clutching at his shoulders. "These people are awful."

"Fuck all of 'em," he muttered back, rubbing her back comfortingly.

She pulled back with a watery laugh, wiping her eyes. "Thank you for coming."

"I'm sorry about your dad."

Her mouth trembled and she swiped at her eyes again. "Damn it, Derek, not you too."

He squeezed her legs. "Sorry."

"Don't apologise."

"Sorry."

She shook her head ruefully. "You trying to make me laugh, Hale?"

"No. Maybe smile."

Nadine glanced at the enormous photo of her dad up the front. "Derek, do me a favour?"

"Anything."

"Get me out of here?"

He hesitated. "Baby, it's your dad's wake."

"I've spent the last few days planning it. It'll go off without a hitch." She glanced around her again. "I can't deal with this much pity in one room. And I can't stare at my dad's picture for another few hours collecting anecdotes from the community. I'm going crazy here, Dee. Please get me away from these people."

He stood and offered her his hand. She took it and followed him out of the funeral home, out into the street and into his car.

"Where do you wanna go?"

She leaned her head back and closed her eyes. "Take me somewhere pretty. And isolated. Or just isolated. I don't want to see people."

He took her out through the woods to a lookout. They sat on the hood of the car, her pretty dress swirled around her legs. His hands were itching to reach out for her but he wasn't sure if she would welcome contact.

"Do you know who did it?" Nadine asked dully after a while, staring out into the distance.

"No."

"Is that the truth, or are you trying to spare me from some supernatural shitfest?"

He glanced at her sidelong. "I don't know, Nadine. I swear. I'm still the only werewolf around."

She nodded, her shoulders tight and tense. "I was… I was hoping it was something weird. Not someone human. So there'd be some kind of excuse. Some kind of weird but explainable reason why my dad was murdered. But if there's not, that just means…" she trailed off. He could smell the sadness on her.

"I know." It meant that some crazy piece of shit had just needed an outlet, and innocent people got in the way.

"I know you do. Fuck." She rubbed her face tiredly. "I… I didn't meant to bring that up."

He reached over and squeezed her tense shoulders gently. "Not about me today."

"It's just…" she leaned into him, seeking comfort again. "I can't… no one's died on me before."

He held her while she cried, mind already whirring on how he could track down the psycho who did this to her. It'd been a few days but the scent might still be there; it hadn't rained yet…

"Someday you're going to get sick of this," she said after a while, when her sobs had faded to the occasional hiccup.

"Of what?"

"Saving me all the time. Being there." She turned and kissed his jaw softly. "Thank you."

"You were there after… my family," Derek said, fumbling his words a little. "I owe you."

"You don't," she promised. "You don't owe me anything. You never did."

He squeezed her tighter to his side, content to sit there with her tangible under his fingertips.

"You're a good person, Derek Hale," Nadine said. "I missed you. Again."

Derek hummed rather than replying. Today wasn't about him, after all. He'd give her this.

*.*.*

She called him from her other life, all those miles away, a few days later. She must've just got back.

"Sheriff Stilinski called me," she said. "They found the guy."

"That's great."

"In the woods."

"Must've been hiding out."

"Well, he was tied to a tree. And he was a bit beaten up, apparently."

"Huh. Imagine that."

"Derek."

"Mm?"

"Thank you."

*.*.*

She came home from classes one day to find him lying on her bed. It was a good thing she had a room to herself this year.

"Derek," she said, surprised. "You're… not in Beacon Hills."

He shrugged. "Laura left. Didn't have anything else to keep me there."

"Yeah, she told me she was thinking of going…" Nadine shrugged out of her jacket and draped it over her chair, unravelling her scarf next. "So you decided to come see me?"

"Yeah." He sat up, rubbing the back of his neck and wondering if he should've maybe called ahead. "Look, if you're busy-"

"I'm not busy," she interrupted with a smile. "I just handed in an assignment. I can take a little time off. How the hell did you find my room, by the way?"

He just stared at her and waited for her to remember that he was a werewolf. It would've been pretty fucking pathetic if he couldn't find her in a sorority house she'd already told him the name of a thousand times.

"Right," she said, catching on. "Well, anyway, you're gonna have to pretend to be normal and actually use doors if you want to stay here for a few days. Campus security gets iffy about strange men sneaking in through windows."

"You're okay with me staying?"

"Don't be stupid. Of course I am." She came and sat beside him on the bed. "So, what're you going to do with yourself now?"

He shrugged again.

Nadine nodded sagely. "Forward planning. Always a strong trait with you. Excellent. Yes. Love it."

"Don't be a wise-ass."

"Don't be a dumb-ass," she countered, nudging him. "Just to be clear, this is a temporary thing, right? I'm not unwittingly inviting you to couch surf while you find your feet?"

Derek snorted. "Like I'd willingly be in Texas if you weren't here."

"That was almost sweet. You're a true romantic at heart, aren't you?"

He rolled his eyes. "Don't make it weird."

"You're the one who's getting all mushy, Hale." Nadine flopped down on her back dramatically. "I think I'm swooning."

He looked at her, spread out on the bed. It was a sight to behold, her shirt riding up to show smooth skin that he just wanted to _touch_ and maybe _lick_ if she was feeling like it…

Nadine arched a brow. "You've been here five seconds and you're already giving me sex eyes."

He met her gaze boldly instead of glancing away, smirking in the way he knew drove her fucking crazy. She groaned.

"Dee, if we start that now, we're not gonna surface for a while. And I want to show you off as my trophy boyfriend."

It was his turn to quirk his eyebrows. "I'm your boyfriend?"

"We're friends who have amazing sex when we're in the same state, but the girls I live with don't need to know that." She grinned at him. "C'mon. Be my arm candy."

"I don't want to spend time with them. I came here for you."

"Just half an hour," she wheedled. "And then we can come back up here and you can do unspeakable things to me."

"Nadine. I don't want to spend time with them."

"I'll do the thing you like."

He narrowed his eyes at her. "You said you wouldn't do that thing anymore."

"And now I'm saying I will." She smiled angelically at him. "Just think about it, Dee. Remember how much you liked it?"

He did. Fuck, he did. That shit was insane.

"No," he said, regretting it even as he said it. He really, really wanted her to do the thing. He just really, _really_ didn't want to get shown off around a sorority. He liked the first idea better, the one where they got holed up in the room for a while.

Nadine sighed. "Fine. I won't objectify you."

"You can do it all you want," he said. "I just don't want Texas Barbie to do it."

She rolled her eyes at him. "Derek, this isn't that kind of sorority. There's a GPA requirement to even get in. This isn't _The House Bunny."_

"Why do you want to do this anyway?"

She fidgeted. "No reason."

"Nadine."

"Fine." She sighed again. "They're still… _looking_ at me, like _hey, there's that girl whose dad died last year. Don't upset her._ I just want to give them something else to think about."

"I could give _you_ something else to think about."

The smile she gave him was equal parts exasperation and knowing. "I know all about your distraction tactics, Derek."

He looked around her room for the hundredth time. "How do you stand living in a house with this many people?"

"I had to share a room up until now, so having this to myself is pretty much like having my own house."

"You do have your own house," slipped out before he could stop it, and he felt Nadine tense. He avoided her gaze, focusing instead on a small stain in her carpet by the desk.

"I own a house," she said quietly. "It's not mine. And it's not here."

"Will you ever go back? For good?"

"Will you?" Nadine challenged.

He hesitated. "Maybe. If I had something to go back to."

"See, there's my problem," Nadine said. "The only thing worth going back for is currently travelling around because his sister gave him a kick up the ass."

"Yeah, well, there was this girl once, but she moved to fucking Texas to get away from me."

She sat up, withdrawing from her previous position of being half sprawled in his lap. "Really? You're going back to that old argument?"

"Why not?" They'd never really finished it. They ran out of time. College started. She left.

Nadine frowned. "Dee, I never left to get away from you. I left because if I didn't, I wouldn't have ever gone anywhere and done anything. I needed to do this, just this one thing for me. We broke up because _you_ decided I was acting too good for you. If you hadn't had a stupid _complex_ about the whole thing, maybe you _would_ be my boyfriend, and maybe we'd both have something to come home to. Ever think of that, smartass?"

He glared at her. "I didn't have a complex. You wanted to leave and you didn't give a shit about what I wanted."

"You're not being fair. We both made our own decisions."

He stood and stalked out of the room, not caring that she was calling after him, not caring whether her stupid housemates saw him. She caught him as he was striding down the footpath to his car.

"Derek!" She grabbed his arm and clung on, forcing him to turn around. He stopped and stared everywhere but her.

"Please," she said, "Don't run off. Not over something that happened two years ago. You just got here. Can we just… not fight? Things are so good when we're together. Please, baby, just… just be here for a little while."

His jaw clenched. "How long can we pretend this isn't a problem?"

"As long as we want," Nadine promised, stepping closer to him and placing her hand on his chest. "I am _really_ into denial."

"What do you want from me, Nadine?" he asked exasperatedly.

She hesitated. "I don't know. I like spending time with you when we're together. I don't know how much either of us can commit beyond that. It's not just me making this choice, Derek. You never even considered long distance. We obviously both can't agree to be in one place. So this is… this is all there is for now." He could hear her heart thudding and smell her nerves as she worried the fabric of his collar, her eyes focused on her fingertips.

His hands drifted to her hips out of habit, because they just fit together so fucking well. "Babe…"

" _Please,_ Derek."

He pulled her closer, burying his head in her neck and scenting her. Her hands slid to settle around his shoulders, pressing into firm flesh in an attempt to hold him closer.

"If we keep doing this, it's going to end badly," he mumbled into her soft skin.

"I know," she whispered back. "I know, fuck, I know."

*.*.*

Laura went missing and Derek was going fucking crazy trying to figure out where she'd been last. He ended up calling Nadine out of sheer desperation, even though they hadn't talked since they'd parted ways in Texas.

"Derek?"

"Have you heard from Laura?" he demanded gruffly.

"Hello to you too," she muttered. "No, I haven't heard from Laura. Not for a couple months. Why?"

"Where was she when you last talked to her?"

"She was heading back home, Dee. Beacon Hills."

"Why would she go back there?" He mumbled distractedly.

"I don't know, she didn't really say much about it. Why, how long has she been missing?"

"She didn't check in," he said. "She always checks in. And now I can't get hold of her."

"She'll be okay. She must've just… lost her phone. Maybe she has a new number now."

Derek sighed. "In the entire time you've known her, has she ever changed her number?"

She hesitated.

"Exactly," he said grimly. "Look, thanks for the heads up. I'm going to head home and check it out."

"Derek, wait!" she said urgently, just before he hung up. "Call me and tell me if you find her, okay? And if you don't. Or if you need help."

"Yeah. Okay." He hung up and leaned back in his seat, closing his eyes for a brief moment. Why would Laura go back to Beacon Hills? There was nothing there to hold her interest. Except Peter, maybe, but Laura wasn't exactly sentimental when it came to their uncle. He'd been closer to Derek than her before the fire. Derek doubted she'd make a trip from… fuck, she'd been somewhere around Ohio last he'd heard from her.

What was she doing? And why hadn't she told him first?

With a sigh, he opened his eyes and turned the key, the engine jumping to life. He wasn't going to get answers sitting by the kerb in New Mexico.

*.*.*

He ran into Nadine when he was least expecting to see her. She was coming out of the gas station, flipping her hair out of her jacket collar, not looking around her at all.

Why the hell was she in Beacon Hills?

Why _now,_ when there was a fucking Alpha on the loose?

"Nadine," he called before he could stop himself.

She halted. "Derek," she greeted, slightly cautiously. She didn't know where they stood, obviously. That made two of them, he supposed.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded, too worried to do the whole dance of boundaries they usually did.

She blinked at him. "Uh, I'm clearing out my house so other people can live in it."

His stomach dropped a little. "You're selling your house?"

"What? No, um, renting." She shifted slightly, hitching her paper bag of gas store groceries on her hip. "You know, since it's just sitting here empty and all. May as well make a buck out of it."

He balked internally at the idea of someone else living in her house. It seemed wrong.

"You picked a bad time to come back," he said.

Her face dropped a little. "I know. I'm so sorry, Derek."

He frowned. "About what?"

"Laura," she said, looking confused by his lack of reaction. "I saw in the paper what happened. But if that's not what you're thinking about, there must be something really fucked up happening."

"There is," he said shortly. "And you need to go back to Texas so I don't have to worry about you getting involved."

"Derek, this is the only time I can come here and do this for about six months." She hitched up the bag again. "What are we dealing with?"

The use of _we_ was so casual that he was suddenly taken back to being seventeen and spilling his guts out to this girl, who took it all fairly calmly and still let him get her naked afterward.

He sighed and gestured in front of him for her to start walking to her car, following her closely when she did. "There's an Alpha," he said quietly, mindful of the other patrons going in and out, few though they were. "I don't know who, but he bit a kid, and he's killing people. I think he killed Laura."

"How do you know the Alpha is a he?"

"Now is not the time to be politically correct, Nadine."

She huffed, shoving the bag at him to hold while she fished for her keys. "Fine. Okay. Alpha werewolf on the loose. Why would it have an interest in me?"  
"I don't know. Why would it have an interest in a high school kid?"

She raised a brow. "Do you really want me to dive into that one?"

Derek rolled his eyes, exasperated. "This is serious. Alphas want pack. If it sees me as a threat, it might come after you once it realises we're connected."

"So I won't hang out with you. Problem solved." Nadine took the groceries from him and loaded them into the car, straightening up to face him again when she was done. "I can't go back to college right now, Derek. I need the money, and if I can get it done in a week, I have people who are willing to move in and start paying then and there."

"I'll pay you money to leave."

She paused, frowning. "You're really worried about this, aren't you?"

He didn't even bother replying. He just looked at her and waited for a reply.

Nadine sighed. "I can't cut and run. I have obligations."

"Bullshit."

"Derek," she said, a hint of annoyance flickering into her tone, "I promise I'll be careful. I think I still have mountain ash somewhere. I'll barricade myself in at night. You can call me however many times you like to check on me."

"You're not taking this seriously."

"I am," she said, reaching out and squeezing his arm to reinforce her words. "I promise. I won't do anything stupid."

He exhaled harshly and looked away.

"This is the part where you promise you won't do anything stupid either," she said.

Derek snorted. "You should be getting this McCall kid to promise that."

"If I see him, I will." Nadine stepped back, opening her car door. "Let me know if you're coming over. I'll drop the barrier for you."

He nodded.

"Derek?"

"What?"

"Don't be noble." She studied him briefly, head tilted to the side slightly. "Just… choose yourself this time, alright? You don't do that enough."

And then she was gone, reversing out without so much as a glance back at him. He wondered how long he'd last if he resolved right here and now not to call her or visit her.

*.*.*

He held out two days before he came over and they fucked on the floor of the kitchen amidst boxes and packing debris. Then they went to the shower to clean up, and they fucked against the wall under the warm stream. Whatever it was between them that kept screwing things up, it was not the sex. The sex was amazing.

"I think you broke me," Nadine said dreamily from where she was flopped beside him on the bed. "I forget how _athletic_ you are."

"Yeah, well," Derek said, "You're bendy. Drives me fucking crazy."

"I know. That's why I stay bendy." She rolled over to cuddle up to him. "I should've bought some Gatorade or something at the gas station. We may need electrolytes soon."

"You need to work on your cardio."

"Excuse me if I don't regularly get banged into the floor and wall by a werewolf," she said, amused. "It's very strenuous."

"I don't want to hear about you getting banged in Texas, Nadine."

"Well, you wouldn't hear about it since it doesn't happen."

He glanced down at her. "Seriously?"

"You're surprised?" Nadine patted his chest. "I keep telling you how much I miss you, babe. I'm not always talking about your strong emotional support."

"So you don't…?"

"No. I don't."

He stared at the ceiling, unsure how to take that. "Because you don't want to, or…?"

She chuckled. "Because I don't want to. Believe it or not, you're not the only person who finds me attractive."

Derek frowned. "I thought you would've."

"I thought I would've too," she mused. "Guess I must like you or something."

He shifted uncomfortably. "I did. With other people."

She was quiet for a moment. Then she stretched with a sigh, settling bonelessly even further over him. "I guessed you would. It doesn't matter. We never put labels on whatever this was. If I wasn't under obligations, you weren't either."

"I didn't realise we were…"

"We weren't," she mumbled against his skin. "So stop worrying about it."

He ran his fingertips up and down the soft skin of her back, fingers finding the dips and bends in her spine as he mapped the area for the millionth time. "Are we… now?"

Nadine propped herself up so she could look at him. "I don't know. Are we?"

He raised his eyebrows, unwilling to go down the deflection route.

"We may as well be," she said. "I just… I don't want to hold you back, Dee. If you meet someone, or if you have to go somewhere, I don't want you to resent me for it."

"I wouldn't resent you."

"Are you sure?"

"Nadine," he said, "When am I going to meet someone else who'll put up with my crap?"

"You're super nice and flattering all the time, anyone ever told you that?" She wrinkled her nose at him. "So how does this work? Do I start scheduling weekends for visits?"

"No," he said firmly. "Not until this is over. It's not safe. You shouldn't even be here now."

She frowned. "So… when is that going to be?"

"I don't know," he said honestly, tugging the blankets further up over her naked skin when he noticed she was getting cold.

"I don't want to slap on a label if there's no actual way for us to do this," Nadine said. "If we're going back down that road, it's gotta be for real. There's no way that's happening while you're helping teen wolves dodge evil Alphas and I'm trying to get into the Masters program."

He stilled. "You're going for your Masters?" He'd just assumed that when she had her degree, she'd be done.

"Um. Yeah." She bit her lip, hesitating. "I only decided last week. I thought my grades would be too low, but turns out they're not. I just have to keep on track or higher and I should be accepted."

"Your grades dropped?"

She dropped her head back down to rest against his chest, avoiding his gaze. "It's been hard. I didn't… it took me a long time to accept what happened to my dad."

"You seemed fine when I saw you."

"I was. Kind of." She sighed. "It comes and goes, Dee. Most of the time I'm okay, but ever since my dad… it's like something broke, and I fixed it, but because it broke that one time it's much easier to damage it again."

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, kicking himself for not picking up on anything. How had he not noticed? He'd spent years obsessed with this girl. How had she been so unhappy without him seeing it?

 _You're never there,_ a snide voice said.

 _And she's never here,_ an even snider one added.

Nadine shrugged. "I don't like talking about it. You're the only person I've told. I'm not in that place anymore. I'm working towards good things, and my Masters is one of those things. It makes me feel good to do that kind of stuff."

He hummed absently. "You can tell me this stuff, you know."

"I know." But her heartbeat told a different story. She was lying.

He shifted slightly, trying to get a better look at her face for her reactions. "I'm serious, Nadine. I'm in your corner, okay?"

"I know you want to be, it's just…" she paused, obviously trying to think of the right words to say next. "I don't want to bother you with the stuff about my dad. And we both avoid talking about the future like the plague because that means acknowledging that this might not work out or turn into something, so I didn't want to tell you about my Masters because some part of me still thinks that as long as we don't talk about it everything will be okay."

He sighed. She was right, on some points. "I want you to bother me. Please bother me. You're the person who's always allowed to bother me."

"You say that now…"

"Nadine, I mean it," he said firmly. "What, do you think I just come around when I want a good fuck?"

She didn't say anything, curling in on herself a little. She didn't really have to say anything.

Derek pressed his lips to her forehead, his hands tightening slightly where they held her. "That's not why I keep coming around," he mumbled against her skin. "Just so you know."

"I wish you lived in Texas," Nadine muttered wistfully.

"Babe, Texas is a hole."

"I'm in Texas. I like Texas." She moved off of him to lie on her back, and he followed her like she had her own gravitational pull. "I don't like it here," she said, quieter, like it was a dirty secret. "Everything bad in my life happened here. How can you stand being back for so long?"

She had a point, he had to admit. Her mom had cut and run when she was six and no one had heard from her since. Her dad had been brutally murdered in the parking lot fifty yards from his work. She was the same as him. No family, no one and nothing good left to make this place feel like home.

He shrugged. "I have to be here for now. There's too much at stake for me to leave. People are dying. Scott is an idiot. I still don't know who killed Laura."

"And when that's done?" Nadine murmured, fingertips running lazily over the arm he draped over her middle. "When you don't have to be here, when Scott can manage without you, would you leave again after that?"

"I would," he said. He didn't say what he was really thinking - that things like this were usually a slippery slope, and he'd be lucky to make it out alive let alone making it out of Beacon Hills.

She turned and kissed him softly. "If you ever get to that point, come find me?"

He nodded, swallowing his gloomy thoughts. "I promise."

*.*.*

He showed up bleeding on her back doorstep a few days later, scaring the hell out of her by pounding on the thing and begging for the mountain ash to be broken so he could get the fuck inside before anyone saw him.

She was wearing his fucking shirt again to sleep in and if he hadn't been half dead he would've appreciated that a whole lot more, but right now he was distracted by the pain a lot more than her bare legs.

"Jesus Christ, Derek," she muttered, half-dragging him in as he swayed and tried not to fall. She shoved him into the muck room where the linoleum was easiest to clean afterward, propping his feet up with a stack of towels to try and keep what blood remained in the most important areas. "What the fuck happened to you?"

"Alpha," He managed.

She was already dipping swabs into a solution to disinfect his wounds. It'd been awhile since she'd done this, patching him up, but by the looks of it she remembered how all too well.

"This is going to hurt like a bitch," Nadine warned. "Don't scream. I have neighbours."

He gritted his teeth and bore her ministrations, knowing that he needed to get cuts as deep as these cleaned so that his healing factor would work faster. A pained grunt escaped him when she worked on a particularly deep one.

"Fuck, I'm sorry," she said hastily. Blearily, he saw that her hands were shaking and registered the pounding of her heart over the pounding of his. He'd really scared her, showing up like this.

"The mountain ash," Derek managed through his still-clenched jaw. "Go."

"I'm going to finish-"

"Go!" He repeated, firmer. If the Alpha got in here, there was no way he'd be able to fight it off like this. He'd rather trap himself inside the barrier than risk Nadine's life after she helped save his.

Nadine dropped the swab she'd been working with and hurried out to reinstate the mountain ash where she'd broken it at the back door. Derek let his head drop back down to the cold floor with a dull thud and a sigh. He could feel himself healing, but it would be slow. The Alpha was powerful. It'd take more than what he had as a Beta to heal quickly from an attack like this.

"Okay, done," Nadine said, coming back into the room. "I'm gonna patch you up a bit, okay? Just so you can get into a real bed without ripping something open while you're healing." At his nod, she knelt beside him again to continue her task of disinfecting and now of covering the largest gashes with dressings.

"M'sorry," he mumbled, his eyes fluttering shut now that the worst was over.

"Don't go to sleep," she said sharply, pausing to pat the side of his face. "Dee. Come on. You gotta stay awake until we can get you somewhere better than the floor."

"Sorry," he said again, forcing his eyes back open with difficulty to watch her while she worked. Her face was drawn and her mouth pinched as she focused on his injuries.

Her eyes flew up to met his. "I'm gonna have to turn you over, Dee. I have to check your back." She arranged his limbs like he was a first aid dummy and rolled him over with ease. He let her, trying not to grunt when the blood that had been congealing on his back came unstuck from the linoleum.

Her sharp intake of breath spoke volumes. "Dee, why didn't you tell me your back was worse?" Nadine demanded. "I'm not a doctor! I don't know to check for that stuff right away!"

He tried to shrug, but that hurt too. "You're doing good."

"I am not," she muttered. "Okay, this is gonna hurt worse than the front did. Please don't die on me. Fuck, this is a lot of blood…"

"I'll be fine," he mumbled. _Probably._

"Okay. Okay. I can do this." She must have been firm enough with herself, because next thing she was cleaning the deep wounds left by the Alpha's claws and he was trying not to scream or roar from the pain.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," Nadine was mumbling to herself, obviously trying to work as quickly as possible. "I wish I had some iodine or something, Jesus Christ, this stuff is brutal."

He didn't reply, still gritting his teeth. Any drowsiness he'd felt was sure as hell gone now, his heart pounding again as his body tried desperately to heal itself.

"I can see your ribs," She said, her voice cracking a little. "Fuck, Dee, what did you get yourself into this time?"

"Nothing," he slurred. "Wasn't me."

She rustled with packages for a minute before her trembling hands were pressing clean swabs over his wounds. She ripped some tape and stuck them down. Her hands felt cold when they brushed against his feverish skin.

"Can you walk?"

He tried to roll over and winced as pain stabbed through him again. "Fuck. Maybe."

She came around to kneel where he could see her. "I'm going to go get you some blankets and stuff. I'm sorry, baby, but I can't get you to a bed unless you can walk. You're too heavy."

"Are you calling me fat?" he mumbled, trying to stop her from looking so fucking scared.

She glared at him. "Derek Hale, do not fuck with me right now. I just put a bandaid over the crater in your back."

He reached up with difficulty and touched her face. "Hey. I'll live."

Her face crumpled and she looked away with a hand to her mouth. He realised how much he must have frightened her.

There was a knock on the front door. She got up and then swore as she noticed all the blood on her clothes and hands.

"Coming!" She called loudly to whoever it was, rushing to scrub her hands in the laundry sink that sat in the corner. "Fucking shit timing, Jesus fucking Christ…"

He huffed quietly in amusement as she grabbed a dressing gown from a haphazard clothes pile and shoved it on, making sure it was wrapped around tightly and up to her neck.

"It's the Sheriff," he said, hearing Stilinski muttering to his partner outside before he rapped on the door again.

"Of course it is," she muttered. "Don't fucking move, I'll be right back when I've gotten rid of him."

She padded out and he heard her opening the door, apologising to the Sheriff for keeping him waiting.

"Evening, Nadine," Stilinski said. "Have you contacted Derek recently?"

He could hear the frown in her voice when she spoke. "Not in a couple days. Why, is he missing?"

"We need to find him," Stilinski said vaguely. "You sure you haven't heard from him? I know you two were close."

"That was years ago, Sheriff," Nadine said, her tone frosting slightly. "I think you'll recall we had a spectacular break up right before I went to college as well. We're not really in contact these days."

"You said you saw him a couple days ago."

Nadine sighed. "I saw him at the gas station. I couldn't really avoid him. We did that awkward catch up thing exes do, and then we went our separate ways."

"Alright. Well, if you see him again, give me a call. We need him to answer some questions."

"Sheriff," Nadine called after him as the sound of his boots on the porch started. "Is he okay?"

"I thought you said you weren't friendly?"

"We're not," Nadine said sadly. Fuck, someone needed to give this girl an Oscar. "But… you don't really stop worrying about your first love. Even if you break up and move three states over."

Stilinski sighed. "He's in trouble, Nadine. I'm not saying he's guilty, but if he comes around, don't engage with him. Lock the doors and call us straight away. Just to be safe."

"What did he do?" Derek could just picture her wide eyes. This girl was amazing.

Stilinski paused. "There was an incident at the high school. Someone died, and some kids were getting chased around… they seem to think he has something to do with it."

Nadine gasped. "Derek? He's not a killer, Sheriff."

"He might not be the same person you remember, Nadine." The sheriff's boots started moving again. "Remember what I said, okay? Stay safe."

"I will. Thank you." The door shut quietly and then Nadine was padding back to him, shedding the dressing gown and tossing it back on the pile.

"You are way too good at that," he told her. "I actually believed we'd broken up for a minute there."

"We did," she said, coming over to make sure he hadn't done anything stupid in the five seconds since she'd been gone. "I just… omitted a few details about what's happened since then."

He rolled on his back with a soft grunt, ignoring her protests. "You are way too good to me."

"I really am. I must love you a whole lot."

He caught her hand where it was fluttering over his chest dressings. "I'm better for it. Fuck, I wish you weren't in Texas. And I wasn't here."

"Well," she said, "Maybe someday we'll run off somewhere new together."

He closed his eyes, smiling. "Maybe we will."

She lay down beside him on the cold floor, leaving their hands linked loosely over his stomach. "How the Hell am I meant to leave now, Dee?"

Derek glanced at her. "What do you mean?"

"Every time I leave," She said, "I know that you're gonna be okay. You might hate me for it, but you're okay. And now… you could've died tonight, Dee. What if I'd been in Texas?"

"I would've healed." Probably not as fast, but now that he was healing he could feel that his wounds weren't as terrible as they had felt. He'd be fine in a day or so.

"Where, under a bridge? In your half-burnt house?"

"I would've healed," he repeated. "You're worrying for nothing."

"I'm just… what if you actually die? And I could have spent more time with you, but I was studying instead?"

"Then you'd move on with your life," Derek said.

"I wouldn't just _move on."_

"You should. If that happens, you should."

"You can't do this," Nadine muttered. "You can't tell me you want to be with me one day and tell me I should move on the next."

"Hey." He nudged her slightly. "Only if I die."

"I don't like that being a realm of possibility."

"Did you think dealing with an alpha was going to be easy?"

"I thought you would be okay." She scooted closer, molding herself carefully to his side to avoid his injuries. "I didn't know he'd be seriously out to kill you. I thought he would've wanted you to join him. Make his pack stronger."

"I think he sees me as a threat where Scott is concerned. Maybe if I wasn't here, Scott would be easier to sway." He stared at the ceiling. "Don't worry about me. I'll be fine."

"Can you promise that?"

"No."

"Then don't say it."

*.*.*

She was waiting for him in her empty house on the last day of her visit, just like he knew she would be. He'd debated not coming at all for a moment.

Nadine didn't even let him turn around fully from shutting the door before she grabbed his face and kissed him like she'd never see him again. He kissed her back just was desperately, scared that she might be right. He walked them backwards into her kitchen and hiked her up on the counter so she could wrap her legs around him and he could press himself _right there_ and-

She was crying.

He pulled back immediately, hands coming up to cup her face. "Hey, hey, what's happening? What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry," she said, sniffing as she tried not to lose control completely. "I just keep thinking and no matter how I try to change it, I just can't see things going the way I want."

"What do you want?"

"I want _you,_ Dee. Ever since you started talking about it being a possibility, it's like I'm goddamn sixteen again and all I can think about is being with you. And I want my degree. And my Masters. And a career. And Texas. And you. Especially you. Did I mention you?" She dropped her head to his shoulder with a muffled _fuck._ "You were right all along. We shouldn't have kept doing this. I'm going crazy here, Dee. Part of me wants to stay."

He closed his eyes briefly, because fuck, wasn't this what he'd wanted? For her to want him, more than she wanted to get out of Beacon Hills? When she was eighteen and going to college, and he was twenty with the first real love of his life - that _bitch_ Argent didn't fucking count - moving thousands of miles away, he would've _lived_ for a moment like this. All he'd wanted back then was for her to regret her decision.

But now he was twenty-four, and she was twenty-two in January, and things were different. He wasn't as bitter about it as he had been. Because… fuck. She'd been right. She'd needed to get out of this place. She was happy in Texas. If she'd stayed, she would have been nothing. And she'd have hated him for it.

She'd wind up hating him if she stayed now. Nadine wasn't meant for Beacon Hills. She was better than this. For one brief, shining moment last week, he'd actually believed that they could make this work. That he'd have something good in his life again. But then she'd be giving up everything good in hers.

"You have to go," he said finally.

She pulled back, eyes red-rimmed and eyelashes still wet. Her mouth was trembling slightly.

Derek cupped her face again, making sure she was looking at him. "You have to go, because you're building a life for yourself, and you can't give that up for me. You have to go, and you can't come back anymore. It's not safe, or fair."

Fresh tears slipped out and he wiped them away with his thumbs, pressing a kiss to her forehead. She gripped his shirt and held him there, close, cocooned in each other's scents.

"I meant what I said last week," she whispered. "If this ends, if there's ever a time you can be away from here for good. Come and find me. Please."

"I will," Derek swore, trying to memorise her in every way. Scent. Sound. Feel.

He had a bad feeling that day would never come. He needed something to remember her by.

*.*.*

It felt strange being human again. He'd been the wolf for a long time. Months. He wasn't sure how many. He'd just needed to run and hunt and exist without thinking rationally about anything.

Dying really fucked a person up. So did all the bullshit that came before it. It'd been simpler to be the animal than the man, once he could make that choice.

Yet here he was. In Georgia. Outside a house in clothes that were still new enough that the starch in them chafed his freshly-human skin.

Fuck. What if he was too late? What if he showed up and she was married with kids? It'd been a long time. Maybe too long.

 _Man the fuck up._

He walked slowly up the path, the hot July sun beating down on him to the point that the cooler air under her porch was a blessing. He knocked on the door. He waited.

She opened it and froze when she saw who it was, her mouth falling open. In that moment his eyes greedily took in every single detail about her - the sundress she wore, drooping at one shoulder. Her hair was shorter again, or maybe it was just that she wasn't straightening it anymore and it was curling out tightly around her head like a dark halo. Her feet were bare. Her ring finger was bare, thank fuck. She looked fucking beautiful as always.

"You're dead," she said faintly. "You had an obituary. You died."

"I didn't die." Okay, he did, but it was only for a while and he thought it'd be simpler just to say he was alive the whole time.

She was clutching the door like it was a lifeline. "This doesn't make sense."

"You said to look you up."

"You died _seven months ago,"_ she hissed. "You didn't think to give me a fucking _courtesy call?_ Something fucking simple, like, _Hey, babe, I'm alive?"_

He glanced around and saw the old lady next door watching them from her garden with interest. "Do you wanna let me in?"

She gaped at him for a moment. "Do I wanna…? Sure. Why the fuck not? Dead boyfriend, back from the grave for a visit. Totally normal." She moved aside and he stepped in, taking in the fact that she lived in a very nice house. Obviously her career prospects were better than she'd made out last time they'd talked about it.

"I'm not dead," he said absently, craning his neck to check out the skylight in the hallway.

"Yeah, that's the part I'm having trouble with," she snapped. He glanced at her and saw that she was sagged against the doorway, wide-eyed. He took a step towards her.

"Stop," she said, holding one hand out. "I just… I have to get my head around the fact that you're _here_ first. Where have you _been?"_

"I… transcended," he said, attempting to find a word to properly explain what had happened. "I was a wolf."

"For _seven months?"_

"Apparently."

"Since when can you fully transform?"

"Since I died." He winced. He'd just finished convincing her that hadn't happened.

She shook her head, looking overwhelmed. "I need water. Or alcohol. Actually, I need to sit down." She brushed past him into another room and he followed her, sitting on the armchair while she claimed the couch.

She took a deep breath. "Alright. Start from the beginning. What happened to you?"

He hesitated. "The beginning?"

"Since I left."

That was a fucking long story. He gave it a shot anyway, talking until his mouth felt dry about alpha packs and the nemeton and psychotic ex-girlfriends.

She stared at him, open-mouthed, when he finished. Then she pinched herself viciously, yelping and swearing.

He was already kneeling beside her, inspecting the spot before she could utter any protest, looking for any marks on her smooth brown skin. "Why the fuck did you do that?"

"You have to admit that it sounds farfetched," Nadine said. "I had to check I wasn't dreaming."

"You dream about alpha packs?" He glanced up to make fun of her, but the sentence died when she swooped in to kiss him. He surged up from his knees to meet her, burying his hands in her gloriously thick hair - why hadn't she ever had it like this before? She looked fucking good with curly hair - and trying not to devour her completely. It'd been years. He couldn't count on what this kiss meant to her.

"You better not have somewhere to fucking go after this," she muttered against his mouth between kisses. "I swear to God, Dee…"

He pulled back, breathing hard. "I don't have anywhere to go. Or anywhere I want to go. Do you?"

"Fuck no." She tried to reach for him again and he stilled her, his brain catching up again.

"You're not seeing anyone?"

"No! Christ, Dee, give me some credit. I'm not a cheater, even for you."

"What the fuck is wrong with these guys," he mumbled before their mouths met again, and then their clothes came off, and then-

Well, then they did something they were both really good at. He didn't know if it was the time that had passed, or the fact she'd thought he was dead, but-

"You let me do the thing," He murmured dazedly, fingers running over her naked skin as they lay in a sweaty post-coital haze. She was amazing. How the fuck had he ever managed to let her go? And stay away from her? Nadine was fucking _smart._ She was funny. She was supportive. And she knew exactly how to drive him crazy in the sack.

"Don't get used to it," Nadine mumbled. "You better not have ripped my dress. I liked that dress."

He'd liked it too. He'd especially liked that she wasn't wearing a bra underneath.

"Missed you," he said, pulling her almost on top of him again despite the heat. "So fucking much."

"I missed you too." She didn't complain, settling herself over him and sighing in contentment when he started running his fingertips up and down her spine.

"So are we doing this?" Derek said, after a minute. "You and me?"

"Fuck yeah we are," Nadine said. "Unless you don't want to, in which case thanks for the great sex, but I'm going to have to cut you out of my life again on principle."

"I want to," he said quickly. "I told you, I've got nowhere else I wanna be. I'm where you are."

"I think that's the most romantic thing you've ever said. Are you feeling okay?"

He rolled his eyes. "Thank God you moved from Texas. Why Georgia, though?"

She hummed. "I sold the house. And hey, turns out my dad did have life insurance, but he left it in a fund until I was twenty-five. So ever since January I found out that I could afford to come here, intern for my dream job and earn peanuts because no one pays interns well, and rent this boss-ass house."

"No roommate?"

"I like how you asked that _after_ we had sex in a common area."

He gave her a look.

"No roommate," she confirmed. "Just me. There's only one bedroom, though, so we'll have to share a bed…"

"I guess I could suffer through that."

She hummed absently. "This is gonna take some getting used to."

"Living with me?"

"Well, yeah, but more the fact that this is _real._ You're really here, we're really doing this, I'm starting my career, and everything is just kind of falling into place."

"Marry me," he blurted out suddenly before he could process that it had even been a thought.

She propped herself up. "What?"

"Marry me," Derek said again, finding that he meant it.

"Maybe."

"Maybe?"

Nadine raised her eyebrows. "We haven't seen each other in over three years. I'm adjusting to the fact you're alive. You just got back from spending seven months as a wolf. And we've never lived together before. Why don't we just take a while to relax before we go adding anything to that?"

He frowned. "I want to be with you."

"So be with me." She shrugged. "We'll get around to the ring later. Let's just enjoy the fact that we're both in the same place for more than a week first."

Derek nodded reluctantly. "Alright."

She smiled at him softly, leaning down to peck his lips. "Believe it or not, Hale, we actually have time on our side now."

"We better," he groused.

*.*.*

 **There you have it! This idea was bugging me for a while and it wouldn't leave me alone so I could write my other stuff. This was done fairly quickly so I apologise for any mistakes in grammar, info, etc., but it was mainly just an outlet when I needed to get away from my main stories. Let me know if you like it and I could potentially do some spin off fics next time I need a change of pace!**


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